March 27, 2013

Obedience, Taking a Needed Break

H ello, dear friends.  I've been doing my very best to avoid writing this post for almost three months.  My friend, Kayse, shared yesterday on her blog about full VS. partial obedience, and I finally came to a resolve to walk out what I knew God has been leading me in.

I am a lover of words.  I love what they do for the soul, for freedom, for vision, for Truth.  If I could fill all the walls of my home with words that inspire and lift up a soul unto Truth, I would.  Sometimes I wish I could write the Truth on the inside of my eyelids for it always to be seen.  I love poetry; epic free verse imagery delights my soul.  And I love to write words that encourage. 

Just because God has given you a love for something, maybe even a gift or talent in it, doesn't mean you're supposed to do it in every season of life.

I knew back in January that God was asking for me to lay blogging and online community in His hands for awhile.  I tried just cutting back a good bit, just posting for the two link-ups I host that yall would be looking for specifically.  But I kept feeling Him calling me into His rest all the while that life got harder and harder.

I am just so weary in this current season.  So tired in my spirit and exhausted in my body.

And writing?  This thing that I love so, has turned into a pressure.

Pressure to perform.  Pressure to post "something good and encouraging."  I just sit, starring at the computer screen feeling dry and empty of words; parched for His refreshment in it.  But I still hesitated even though I knew God was asking because He knows me best, and that I desperately needed a break. 

I hesitated for two reasons:
1.  I love it so stinkin' much.  To receive your comments or private messages letting me know how you've been encouraged thrills my soul.  It confirms to me that From My Mountain View is walking in the vision God gave me for it three years ago.  "FMMV is a community of women; existing to be a place for many hearts to gather together pursuing lifestyle of transparency, thanksgiving, and creativity; encouraging one another and lifting one another up to see the potential that already dwells within."  This has been me, where rubber hits the road.  Writing with the purpose to bring God glory and encourage women.  And I. Love. It.

2.  I'm afraid to let it go.  I've done a lot to build and grow this blog.  I feel like there are so many people to "let down" in taking a break.  My consistent viewers are important to me.  Just when I get ready to listen to God and lay it in His hands, someone messages or comments about how much God has used me to encourage them... And then I just. can't. stop.  I'm afraid.  I'm afraid that if I take the significant break God has been leading me to and that I need so desperately, that it will all just fade away - that all I've built with From My Mountain View will be null, and I'd have to begin again.  "That this blog and my writing won't mean anything anymore." 

But it was His in the first place; He just gave me the vision and passion for it.
I need to let go and believe I can trust Him with the outcome of it all.

My break from blogging will be open ended, without time constraints.  I want the freedom to post when the Lord leads me to share something with yall, but it will be rarely.  I don't know how long it will be; I'm willing to leave that up to Him.

And I will be tuning into in a couple of weeks for her new series coming up called, "Embracing Rest."  Pretty perfectly timed, right?  I hope you might join me there.  And thank you for your continual friendship and lovies.  :)
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