March 12, 2013

Mommas Need Friends
{Marriage & Mommyhood Link-Up :: Session 2, Week 5}

The picture I had in my head of what a "truly devoted" godly wife and momma looked like had an invisible "S" on her chest and shouldn't ever "bother" anyone for help. I thought in my pursuit to be the ideal homemaker, homeschooler, wife and momma that I was being selfish to need time to myself, or time away with a friend.  There are even blog authors that will tell you so, but nothing could be further from the truth. God made us for fellowship with not only Him but with one another and also encourages time for restoration of our souls.  Mothers, whether working moms or stay at home homemakers are not some incredible exception.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 amplified

"Two are better than one, because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labor;  For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not   another to lift him up!"
"Going at it alone is, without a doubt, one of the most common and effective strategies that Satan uses to discourage moms. A woman alone in her home with her ideals eventually wears down and becomes a perfect target for Satan to discourage. Some woman have journeyed alone for so long they are not even aware of their urgent need for mentors, friends, peers, and fellowship."
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Honestly, I wish I could quote the entirety of Sally's portion of chapter 2 and that be the all and the end of it.  I have nothing to say that could add in anyway to her truthfulness and wisdom on how we absolutely need one another.  What I can do is tell you story of my need.  

Like Sally, in my walk as a mother, I have often felt despondent and in need of the gift of friendship because we too moved many times, 9 times in 6 years.  I would begin to make a friend or two and then move as God lead my husband to Bible Colleges and different homes or states while in ministry. 

Ministry.  Being a youth pastors wife, whether employed or volunteer, only added to my misconceptions of "going it alone," believing that I needed to be the best example of succeeding at life.   Wow, how ignorantly self-righteous and utterly alone I was and felt.  I found since that God transforms lives we all minister to through transparency of our humanness and his grace with full acceptance.

I have to be intentional with friendships or I'll forget in the fullness of motherhood to pursue them; forget until I recognize the empties that need life spoken into by someone else who knows them all too well.  When I have spent time with a friend, whether enjoying a cup of something warm alone together or during a play date with our children, we both return to our homes and families uplifted and refreshed.
"We need advocates. An advocate is someone who goes to bat for you, who watches out for you and protects you.  That person is on your side and wants the best for you."
If you do not have a friend or advocate in your life right now I encourage you to stop and pray, asking God to specifically supply what He knows you need.  What are some ways that you struggle with pursuing friendships as a priority?  What are some things that help you to be more intentional or aid you in this pursuit?

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Welcome to our weekly Marriage & Mommyhood link-up!  Please feel free to share any post on marriage, mommyhood, faith, or family below. This week we are continuing our walk through the No More Desperate Moms Resolution, with resolution no. 6: I will pursue friendships with other moms.

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