As my eyes opened from sleep, frustration didn't hesitate to intertwine itself.
Feet touching floor in the still dark; readily stepping into the untruth of defeat.
Nothing followed that seemed remotely "right."
Children pushing limits, womb baby pushing so low it was uncomfortable to do anything, and husband's uncharacteristic momentary insensitivity hurled me into tears and a much needed walk outdoors in the brisk Autumn sun, crunching leaves as I went.
"Papa!" I try to pray. With thoughts swarming, feeling too frustrated to pray, I silently yield my heart to His instead. And I walk.I start to feel Him calm my soul as my stride becomes more relaxed. "Okay," I sigh with a twinge of hope for relief. Returning home earlier than I desired so husband could return to work; I leave relief outside and step right back into irritation whilst through the door I come.
Losing my patience with our blessings I speak out of character, harshly. Their eyes tell me they don't remember the last time I directed words with arrows. Their eyes tell me story of consistent Proverbs 31 growth in me: "kindness is on her tongue."With fake joy I exclaim to them, "Let's take a break (from school/chores) and play with toys in your room!" Happy squeals of surprise follow and their feet rush them off with toddler quickly behind.
I take my position here; sitting at this lit screen, begging God to catch me up with some rescue in print. My eyes land on these words:
"I can't control the things that happen to me each day, but I can control how I think about them. I can say to myself, 'I have a choice to have destructive thoughts or constructive thoughts right now. I can wallow in what's wrong and make things worse, or I can ask God for a better perspective to help me see good even when I don't feel good.'"To read all the more of what God used to change my day and sweep me away with His love....."Getting Unstuck From My Thinking Rut"
Written by Lysa TerKeurst, Proverbs 31 Ministries.
Isaiah 41:13 (niv)For I am the LORD, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
John 14:27 (amp)Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]
2 Corinthians 4:8 (amp)
We are hedged in (pressed) on every side [troubled and oppressed in every way], but not cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not driven to despair;
Romans 12:2 (amp)
Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].
2 Corinthians 10:5 (amp)
[Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One),
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