August 28, 2012


Whether to 'Trust God' With the Size of Your Family

The husband and I both have understandably received many comments and questions from both those we know personally and from strangers about our impending transition to a family of six.

Some comments and questions are polite and inquisitive, while others are not so much.

As "Raising Real Men" puts it:
"Too often, though, we hear the negative wisecracks from fellow Americans, and far too often, from our fellow Christians.  We have a few 'snappy [with a smile]' comebacks of our own if someone is remarkably crude, but usually we are well able to answer with grace and cheerfulness.  We defend our decision to have a large family and we especially express our happiness to be the parents of many..."

It really does amaze and grieve my heart how quick many people are to make public remarks in front of our children (and many times even in front of their own children) to announce how burdensome kids are.
"Children are an heritage of the Lord—these are His children, not ours. We don’t own them. If there are other children God wants in our family, we are open to them. And if we don’t have more children, I would rather have the peace of knowing it was because of God’s perfect plan for our family and not the result of our leaning unto our own understanding. I don’t want the burden of standing before God and learning that there were children meant to make an impact on this world, children that would’ve thrived in our specific home, but that we rejected them. As a Mama, I can’t imagine rejecting any of my children."      -Sara Elizabeth from A Mama's Story
We do not, for a second, believe we have the ability to force our beliefs about children, family, or our faith in the Lord concerning the size of our family on others.  Nor do we even desire to.
 
This is what we believe God Himself is doing and saying in OUR family.

Are there many, many Truths from His word that we believe point to the blessings of not only having a large family, but simply about trusting in the Lord and not leaning to our own understanding?  Yes.  But it is not our place to make other people believe this too.  And most importantly, only God Himself knows exactly His desires for you, your story, and your family dynamic.

One day our dining table may look similar to this.  It may not.  We feel peace concerning leaving that up to Him.  :)
photo credit
Only He can direct your paths, not anyone else.  
Our part is to grow in intimacy with Him, so as He speaks and leads our "ears" are more keen to His voice. 

We are all growing though, aren't we?  
It stands to reason then that while at some points in our lives we may very well believe that God is leading us to make a certain decision, that as we grow continually in Him and our ability to hear Him more clearly also grows, that we also find ourselves changing those decisions.  Not because God's desires for us changed, but we did.  We all make decisions differently as we mature.  And we need to give ourselves grace to change them when the time comes.

Should you have read between the lines of the last paragraph and believe that I am saying that you'll realize you're supposed to have lots of kiddos as you mature, and that you must be immature currently if you don't believe that???  Absolutely not.  100% 

It is Truth that only God knows His desires for your family dynamic.  It is also Truth that we make decisions differently as we mature.  Separate those two in your mind if that helps you read my heart more accurately. ;)

photo credit
My simple message is this: 
We all, no matter the subject, should hold our convictions loosely while we simultaneously hold onto the heart of God, white-knuckled with all our might.

And as we pursue Him we need to give ourselves the grace to allow for change.


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26 comments:

  1. Hi Rebecca, stopping by from OYHT. Children are a blessing indeed! Our oldest leaves home for University on Sunday...it goes fast!
    Blessings on your day!

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    1. They are indeed! Thank you, Katharine, for your comment and blessings! :)

      With joy,
      Rebecca

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  2. Hi! Dropping by from OYHT. I have four children and I thankk God for them. Good luck to you:)

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    1. I'm so glad you stopped by, Joy! Thank you very much! :)

      With overflowing peace,
      Rebecca

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  3. I am new to your blog and so glad I came across it!

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    1. Oh yay, new friend!! So sorry I'm just coming across your comment! I hope to hear from you again soon. :)

      With love,
      Rebecca

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  4. Large families are a gift from God! When your children are grown and living lives of their own, with children of their own, you will wish you had more. You will long for them to come home and spend time and you will never have enough hugs and kisses. God bless you.

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    1. Never ever enough hugs and kisses. :) Thank you, V, and blessings to you as well!

      -Rebecca

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  5. We all, no matter the subject, should hold our convictions loosely while we simultaneously hold onto the heart of God, white-knuckled with all our might.


    it always astonishes me how carelessly we use our words towards others. great reminder to keep myself in check. but i personally love the thoughts of a big family!!

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    1. Indeed, Melissa! Some days we need the reminder continuously. :)

      -Rebecca

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  6. Hello. I'm not religious but I often stop by blogs like yours to get a different perceptive on life. I enjoy learning about different points of view. I did have one question for you and in no way am I trying be to judgmental. So I hope you do not take it that way. I'm wondering if you ever feel uncertain or nervous about leaving your family size up to God. Do you ever question whether it is the right thing to do in terms of financial responsibility?

    Thanks so much for your post.

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    1. Oh, I'm so glad you've joined in on the conversation! You are so sweet to clarify on "judgement." How much more in life could we all learn from one another if we'd learn to listen and ask without judgement! I will do my best to answer your question from my experience. :)

      I trust God because I believe the Bible to be true and it says not only that He is trustworthy but that He is my Provider. I also trust God because I have literally seen and experienced both of those things to be true in my life. I have been in need, prayed and asked God for His help, put my trust in Him and who He is to me, and seen Him provide miraculously, well beyond what could be considered coincidence!! :) I trust Him because I have experienced His love for ME, not "Joe" down the street, but for me...

      It's never a bad idea to trust God, but just like everything, I believe that there is also definitely a needed balance. The Bible not only tells us we can trust Him and that He loves us and wants what's BEST for us, but it also speaks a great deal on being a good steward of what we're given, proper investment, and the importance of work and providing for your family.

      So while we DO trust God with the size of our family, we ALSO make wise decisions concerning our family's finances; how we spend, what are true necessities, learning how to live frugally, to live "green," and learning to do much on our own like gardening, cloth diapering, making our own soap, etc. While we do not have much to the world's standards, we've never made it a point in "keeping up with the Jones'" anyway. We live intentionally, pursue living debt-free, and we've always had "enough." :)

      I hope that helps. :) I hope you truly feel free to stop by again. You, your difference of belief, and your kindness are thoroughly welcome here in this community to encourage women in their daily lives!

      With love,
      Rebecca

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  7. I found your blog on the wednesday walkabout!

    New Follower Here,
    -Hannah

    thirstyworlddesigns.blogspot.com

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    1. Oh, Hannah, it's so lovely to "meet" you, and I'm so glad you've joined this community! :)

      With joy,
      Rebecca

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  8. I love that dining room table and chairs. Thank you for joining our hop!

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    1. Thank you, Jamie! I'm so glad you stopped by. :)

      -Rebecca

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  9. Thanks for this nice, balanced post. Too often I see people feeling defensive about their large families and arguing that "trusting God" always for everyone means using no contraception ever. Trusting God really is a more complex process of listening for guidance through prayer. I understand and respect that God calls some people to have many children. For others there is a different path. It's important that each of us follow God's path for us and resist the urge to judge others.

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    1. Thank you, Becca, for your comment and encouragement! I have found similar viewpoints prevalent amongst large family enthusiasts as well. God's story is different for all, yet His heart is the same, and He meets us where we are. :)

      With joy,
      Rebecca

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  10. Thanks for participating in the Wednesday Walkabout!

    Chantal @ Scattered Seashells
    (www.scatteredseashells.com)

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    1. Thank you for hosting it, Chantal! :)

      -Rebecca

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  11. Amen, amen! We have 8 children - totally left our family size up to Our Lord. And I can testify that we have been TOTALLY blessed!We have 7 boys and one girl aging 17 down to 3. Despite many ups and downs - I love the life the Lord has givne me and would not swap it for all the tea in China (or anything else for that matter!) Visiting via Multitudes on Monday at A Holy Experieince. I'll be subscribing to your site via email Bless you xo

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    1. How wonderful, Nicki!! You are blessed indeed. :) I'm so glad you've joined our community, new friend!

      With love,
      Rebecca

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  12. What I don't understand is why other people find the need to say anything negative about the size of your family. It doesn't affect them. You all are happy and healthy. Very interesting post. I was happy to read it! Thanks for linking up with the Walkabout!

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    1. Thank you so much for stopping by, Jane, and for your encouraging words! :) Hope to catch up with you again soon!

      With joy,
      Rebecca

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  13. Thanks for this post! We are on baby #3 in four years. My husband and I want a big family, but I'm sure we will hear all about it if we are blessed with a fourth.

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    1. Congratulations, Joanie!! So excited for you and praying for a blessed journey. :)

      -Rebecca

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