June 17, 2010

Come Up Here with Me

~The Call~
I was soaking.  Starting to drift into that place between asleep and awake.  Just worshiping.  My heart rejoicing in my chest at the abundance of Him and His true rest.  I felt a hand reach out to me.  He then tenderly said, "Come up here with Me."  I did not hesitate.  I felt Him smile.  I reached out my right hand as hard as I could, waiting to feel His; trusting there would be something tangible.  I felt Him so gently take my hand.  I felt its warmth.  I was amazed at the tenderness and yet I knew I didn't have to worry in the slightest; I knew He was strong enough to never let me go.  There was complete security in His hand.  I felt myself lift effortlessly off the floor I was laying on...

~The Climb~
In a matter of no time at all I was in a place I did not recognize.  White was everywhere.  In front of me was a wall of steep white stairs.  I looked both to the right and to the left.  This wall stretched farther than I could see in both directions.  I lifted my head to try to get a glimpse of the top.  High ahead was an amazing captivating light, streaming over the top.  I couldn't see the person that was holding my hand snugly, never letting go, but I somehow knew this was the Holy Spirit.  He said it again, just as loving and smoothly as the first time, "Come up here with Me."  Again, without hesitation, I gladly obeyed; starting the ascent with Him, leading me on like a groomsmen guiding His bride carefully & strongly.   I climbed, never looking back, eyes fixed on the light shining ahead, almost lost in the peaceful climb.  As I stepped higher and higher with Him I started to feel things peeling off of me;  things I didn't even realize were there.  As they did, heaviness I wasn't aware of left me effortlessly.  We had arrived at the top...

~The Cry~
The light covered me.  Almost blinding, yet I could see perfectly clear.  Its source was in the distance.  I knew it was Father.  The light was glory, His glory.  Everything surrounding, everything I saw was Him, His glory.  I'm not really sure what I was looking at as I gazed around.  I was standing at the top of this...wall.  All around, as I was looking down onto them, I saw what possibly resembled city buildings, or really large blocks, or even possibly wrapped presents without bows.  They were all gold, pearl, and possibly silver.  It didn't bother me in the slightest that I had no idea what exactly I was looking at, and I didn't need to ask.  All I know is that it was His glory, and it caught my breath as it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.  With Holy Spirit still holding onto my hand and standing in front of me, Father's voice came out of the light.  "I made all of this for you," He said so unbelievably loving that it knocked me from my feet.  His love, so abundant, completely engulfed and overwhelmed me.  I crumbled, pushing and pressing myself as low as I could while on my knees; sobbing uncontrollably, never saying out loud, but almost demanding in my heart, "Why?! Why would You do that?!  I don't deserve, I am unworthy!"  I was cleansed in His presence by the coal in the alter that was somewhere ahead of me.  He allowed my humility before Him, all the while Holy Spirit never letting go; but He did not allow it for long.  He bent down in front of me.  Having the wind and breath of His face close to mine raised me up.  We were face to face, Holy Spirit and I.  He said so gently and earnestly, "I made this for you now."  I did not say anything, but the attitude of my heart was humble and confident readiness in Him.  Just as effortlessly before, He lifted me from where I was.  Then I felt my whole body weightlessly be placed back where I had been soaking.  We both smiled I believe...

~The Contentment~
He didn't leave me, but let go of His firm and gentle grip on my hand.  I opened my eyes from my place lying on the floor to see my hand outstretched in the dimly lit room, with the other ladies still soaking around me and worship music still playing.  My hand and arm slowly lowering, then resting to the floor.  It was then that I realized and believe that He had taken my spirit away from this place for a little while.  I just lay there replaying what happened, basking in Him - His love so abundant and free.  His presence is peace.  I was quiet, soaking.  Not praying, not silently singing, just absolute silence within me, basking in Him...

~The Constant~
And then, prompted by song lyrics I could hear playing in the background, I asked simply for a fresh filling and renewing of His presence in me.  I didn't need to ask more than once.  My mouth opened and breath, wind almost, flowed, no - streamed into me.  In my mouth, down my throat, all the way down to my core.  It was constant breathing in.  It didn't even occur to me at the time that I hadn't breathed out in awhile.  It didn't matter.  It wasn't needed.  The breath continued pouring into me quickly, and then there was a physical feeling of stirring deep inside me, in my belly.  Stirring continued.  Air continued.  And then...quietness.  An exhale.  A feeling of fullness was left with me.  Preparedness also...

~The Conclusion~
I surely don't know what all He has for me to do and what He desires to give me to accomplish those things, but I know this: No longer will I sit and wait, sitting on my hands.  No longer will I quench the Holy Spirit because of too much humility causing me to be unmovable out of self pity and unworthiness.  Abba, Daddy...I am helpless without You.  I can do nothing without You.  So in You, I move on; worshiping and serving.  No longer will I only acknowledge the call and anointing, but also believe, act on, and walk in the call and anointing You have placed on this life.  Here I am, Lord.  Use me...

2 comments:

  1. I am absolutely awe-struck at the love He has for you and the rest of His children...and I am thankful that you not only have the words but the courage to express these experiences He has given you. They are a blessing to others via you. Keep pressing forward and never doubt your worth. You are daughter of the Most High and I hope this experience will continue to remind you of your purpose and His never-ending well of living water...there for you at anytime.

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  2. Oh my. Reading it is like I was there with you. Seeing it in my mind's eye refreshes me and puts questions in my mind about God and how little I know so far. I want more. Thank you for sharing this beautiful experience. I love it.

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