May 3, 2010

Before I was a mom...


I never tripped over toys in my own home. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

I had never been puked on. 
Pooped on. 
Chewed on. 
Peed on. 
I slept all night.
I never wondered why the hospital would let us take her home.  
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep. 
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down. 
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests or give shots. 
I never looked into teary eyes and cried. 

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I never thought that I wasn't qualified to do this job.

I didn't know how much the line, "this will hurt me more than you," was true.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby with my own body. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child that my mother had told me about. 
I didn't know I would surge more in love with my husband watching him instantly fall in love with someone less than 10 pounds.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important. 
I never knew that I could love someone so very much. 
It never crossed my mind that it would be ME that would be responsible to instill healthy habits in other lives.
I thought then that I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I never thought about how every word I say gets heard.
I thought two might be enough.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. 

4 comments:

  1. Being a parent is the most important job there is, and for many mothers, it's seen as doing "nothing" compared to career people.

    You do it so well with so much wisdom, love, and patience, and you seem to "catch" everything and watch your children with deserved wonder.

    I am glad I was your mother and I am glad you are theirs!

    Mom

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  2. Awwwww =) that's so sweet! Can I have one? Lol, just kidding! [For now, anyway. ;)]

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  3. Thank you Momma. So much. =)

    Yes, the stereotype is unfortunate. It's like that is what was only expected of women for so long, that once women were "allowed" to do what was considered "more," the ones that choose to "just" be a mom are viewed as just that - like we're settling. Once I was even told in a very nice way that this person was surprised that I didn't do more because they always felt I was capable of so much. At first I was secretly irate, but forgave her and came to the conclusion that it really is just a big misunderstanding of what is of worth.

    P.S. - I'm glad you are my mother too. ;]

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  4. HaHa Sarah! You're so cute. =) Yall be great parents! [one day ;)]

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