January 11, 2010

So, I've been thinkin...

I've been tryin to figure out why I have not posted any blogs in awhile. I enjoy it. I enjoy writing, getting all my thoughts out, whether down on paper or online. It helps me think sometimes. You know? Like sometimes I am unable to fully wrap myself around even what it is that I'm thinking until I start getting it out. And then it is clear. I have decided to play the "Why?" game to help me understand why I haven't been blogging, even though I enjoy it thoroughly. The Why? game is simple and just goes like this:

Why did I stop writing? --Because I haven't had time.
Why? --I didn't make time.
Why? --Well, it's not that it isn't important to me, it is actually, it helps me think, helps me go deep, I like to go deep...so, because I really didn't want to write.
Why? --I really didn't want to go deep.
Why? --Because going deep right now would force me to be honest with myself and God about a few things that I really didn't want to deal with.
Why? --Oh. *I'm getting a wee frustrated now.* Becaaauuussse, acknowledgment would invoke change.
Why? --Because I cannot fully acknowledge these things and deal with them and give them to God and continue living life out as if I never did, now could I?
Why don't you want that change? --Because it would be hard.
Why? --Because most things in life that are worth doing and are important to do and that God is telling you to step out and do them are...well, difficult.
Are you willing for the learning to sometimes be hard, sometimes even painful for your flesh, in order to be exactly where God wants you to be and to grow even more deeply into His heart?
*sigh*.........YES.

So, blogging: ready or not, here we come... ;-]

1 comment:

  1. Hahaha =)I love it. I think that's the game we play a lot...and aren't willing to admit it, along with everything else! I love that you blogged about it! =D

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